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Gavros 4:43 Fri May 5
Owning & renting out a static caravan

You alright im a pikey bla bla bla

Just looking into the financial viability of buying and renting out. A good quality big second hand caravan costs about £25,000 but can pick up up to £15,000 a year in rental fees. Taking into account all fees and other costs, that's upto £7000 net which is a tidy 28% net.

Anyone do this?

Alfie 1:01 Sat May 6
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

I have recently gone into business letting out the small reclaimed wooden huts near seaside walls that contain life saving bouyancy aids. Theyve all gone out of business because people seldom drown any more. I bought a codgel load of the fuckers.

These structures are precisely 4 inches deep with a recessed inlay that you could shelter part of your head in - in the event of rain. But be warned - your nose would still get wet. We are only talking partial rear head coverage here.

Frank sinatra bought one off me. Really nice bit of little wooden apex roofed seaside firniture that tramps have pissed up and pensioners have died near.

Textually message me if inter fucking rested

yngwies Cat 12:59 Sat May 6
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

Pikey with a boat.

arsegrapes 12:51 Sat May 6
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

I can't see you turning a profit from this kind of venture unless you think outside the box/caravan.

Whack it up on a few camping swingers websites and be prepared to host monthly THEMED events should stand you in good stead!

Alfie 12:46 Sat May 6
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

Can one defecate in such a hut? What if the tide comes in whilst the stool is dangling twixt the delivering cheeks like a grandfather clocks swinging pendulum?

The notion of shitting one off in a beachside pleasure hut is agreeable - i will give you that. But youve not thought it through sir. The passing of the waste could be interrupted by a high tidal foot lapping wave. No one wants salty bollocks when chopsing one out bruv. We are east end, aint right.

Think again sir. There must be other temporary shelters more suited to purging ones bowel. Got to be

greenie1 12:39 Sat May 6
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

Buy a beach hut.

Alfie 12:34 Sat May 6
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

Am thinking of leasing a porta toilet. Can anyone advise on the rectitude of such a move and also how much pooh and urinal fluid its under seat filth tank will harbour?

Any advice greatly received. Will the soil tank contain a packed down compressed lozenge of shitty water weighing 4 pounds wet and looking like a hovis loaf made of fecal matter?

I need an exact price and specificaton please because my client is very particular about where he does a pooh.

On that note- does anyone know where i can get a shitty deerstalkers hat, with a leather peak and ear mufflers of shit straps hanging down like dung garlands?

Can i get one over the kebab shop in tottenham high road?

Sxboy_66 12:30 Sat May 6
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

It'll give you a tax free income but don't look at it as a way to make a profit unless you're prepared to put a lot of work into making sure you maximise the rental.

You won't pay any tax on income earned from renting a static caravan as long as it's available to rent for 215 days of the year (it doesn't have to be rented for 215 days, just available to rent, i.e. not being used by you). You can also write off ALL running costs against other income you may have, including TV licence and accountancy fees. You can also claim 10% of its value per year in depreciation and offset that loss against other earnings.

It doesn't work as an investment, anyone who tells you it does is lying.

You might as well stick £25k under the mattress and take £2.5k a year out of it for 10 years. The end result will be exactly the same.

Lodges, in the right location, do work, but you'll pay £150k plus for one of those.

Spandex Sidney 12:23 Sat May 6
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

The numbers don't add up.

For six weeks in the summer, two weeks at Easter and a week at the end of May you will easily take £600 a week after the site has taken it's cut.

The rest of the weeks May-July you MAY get £300 a week IF it's rented.

The VERY best you could gross would be £9000 a year. If you are paying that though you're on a Haven or similar park and will be paying £7000 in site fees, while the caravan is depreciating at £5000 a year EASILY.

Go and see how much a 2 year old big caravan is from a dealer and then see how much it is on a site!!

ohgodno 12:11 Sat May 6
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

I also like the use of the word "percentage", the number "28" and the technical term "net".

But these grand terms could have been applied to 20 caravans and £140,000 a year (manageable by 1 person and some admin help).

ohgodno 12:07 Sat May 6
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

This is a fucking weird post.

If you can take £25000 and make £7000 a year then what do you want off us? Permission? You've claim to have taken into account "all other fees and costs" so we can't tell you nothing.

I've been on here years and have never got a "ask me about caravan ideas" vibe from anyone. So I can't see why you've decided to access the collective wisdom of WHO.

So essentially you are boasting about an idea that might make you £7000 a year. The way you represent yourself I'd have thought it would have been £250000, ten caravans and £70000 a year (one person could easily manage that).

But okay. Well done you for the idea.

greenie1 11:02 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

Gavros = Diane Abbott

Mr Anon 10:28 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

don't worry Spandex, I think this is all about the stadium. Could be wrong though, can't keep up with the meta.

I.want.that.one 10:28 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

Going from unemployable to this shit. It's been sad to watch your demise and subsequent attention seeking.

WHO doesn't have to be your life.

Get help you chubby faced twat.

Spandex Sidney 9:10 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

Gav,

Seriously mate, don't do this, it's a financial black hole and you have no chance of making any money on a severely depreciating asset.

The terms of the site will be punitive. What site is it on Gav? Your number are not realistic though unless you spend 100k on a lodge.

Total rip off mate and the thing will half in value every year. Plus you won't be able to sell it without the site's permission and they will take a big cut when you do.

Much better places for your money and have the odd week there when you fancy it.

Rule of investment no 1 - Never buy a depreciating asset.

SecondOpinion 9:08 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

SO, the consensus is:- DON'T

Gavros 8:49 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

Shut up Ted you queen

ted fenton 8:41 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

Gavros 6:09 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan



Private Dancer 6:06 Fri May 5

Die you cunt.

What a terrible post FFS !!!!

Say's it all Gavprick !!!

ted fenton 8:37 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

No wonder decent posters are not heard of lately !!!!!

FFS Graffuck give it a rest !!!!

Mr John 8:33 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

I have a young family and we often do The Sun holidays, 2 or 3 times a year go for a long weekend away and really enjoy it.

I can't see that financially it really adds up though. £15k if its fully booked through the season, but I would guess you'd do well with 70% occupation and £15k gives an average of £375 per week (if divided over 40 weeks) and we certainly do not pay that much when we go, although i'm sure the peak season charges are higher.

Site fees are what, £4k or £5k a year, then if it's been rented through the site, they'll take a further chunky slice of the income for dealing with the rental side, and then there's also I bet another fee for managing the caravan (i.e. arranging repairs/cleaning etc).

You've also then got the gas and electric bills (and we go for it when we're using one). Then you've got the insurance, don't know if there's council tax or rates.

The last trip we did a month or so ago the boiler was leaking, it got fixed but the bloke who fixed it said it was an expensive job.

I suspect it will be more hassle than its worth, especially if it's far away from where you live. Personally i'd buy £25k worth of Lloyds shares or something if I had the money.

joe royal 8:21 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

Minimum of 300 a month site fees
Cleaning bills
If one renter moves out sat am can you get the door/window/locks fixed by 3pm?

Buy one by all means and rent it out but don't expect to make any money on it .

Some sites insist that it's less than ten years old , I doubt if a disposal is going to be cheap , looking at a minimum of 400 just for a truck and driver.

Gavros 6:09 Fri May 5
Re: Owning & renting out a static caravan

Private Dancer 6:06 Fri May 5

Die you cunt.

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